


Winning at all cost

by ittakes23



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-18 02:38:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10607571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ittakes23/pseuds/ittakes23
Summary: Tobin is an ex world class soccer playerHow does she continue to support her daughter with her dream after a divorce and a dark past?





	1. You're late

"Tobin where the hell are you?"

"Christen! Damn is training over already? Sorry I got caught up with time an-"

"-No, you know what just forget it I'll pick her up."

"Chris no wait I can pick he-"  _beep_

Tobin slammed her hand on the bed. She placed one foot on the floor and attempted to creep out the covers until a worn out body turned over.

"Where you going?" the unknown person asked,

"Um, look I'm sorry, you seem like a lovely girl but I have to go and pick my kid up." Tobin exclaimed as she was midway of putting her clothes on as well as rushing to leave the room. She wasn't quite sure of what happened in the past few hours but was only given subtle hints from empty bottles on the floor and a scattered bedroom. She quickly left the apartment of a modern estate building passing each floor with no recollection of what did happen within the past few hours. Neither the less that was the least of her problems; she just had to beat Christen from getting to their daughters soccer session first before it was too late. With no time to spare Tobin jumped in her convertible and started pulling out of the drive way.

_Tobin, SEATBELT._

She halted the car and hit the steering wheel with her hand, she wasn't even cautious about her safety but it was solved within a fraction of a second. She was thankful that her conscience was more aware of the situation before anything wrong went down. After that she was on a nonstop drive down to where wide acres of land were filled with children kicking soccer balls endlessly. That was of course when she noticed her daughter was the only one left from her team kicking a ball back and forth across an empty pitch. She parked the car just close enough from where her daughter was but not too close for her to see. As she closed the door she started walking towards her but stood still when she stopped kicking the ball. 

"You're late again." Parker whispered as she picked the ball up and turned around,

"Hey buddy... I'm really sorry I was busy and didn't notice the time,"

"Mom said that if you're late one more time she won't let you bring me to practice, it's bad enough I only see you twice a week." Parker murmured as she got in the car. Tobin felt guilty. She knew that if she wasn't going to get her priorities straight, she wouldn't be allowed to see Parker anymore. After an awkward silence Tobin spoke up to ease the tension.

"How was soccer practice?" she turned to look at her daughter but she wouldn't even make eye contact,

"It was okay, all we did was pass the ball around,"

"What you didn't get to score?" Tobin asked,

"We never get to do anything new... why are you asking? You know coach is boring."

Tobin laughed at what Parker told her, "Seriously? You know when I used to play soccer that would just be a warm up!"

"So you did more than just passing?"

"Obviously bud I worked my butt off to become a champion like you want to be when you're older!"

Parker hesitated to ask but she eventually spoke up, "Why did you quit mama?"

"Why did I quit? Listen up bud I'll tell you what happened after my last game."

"No mama not this again." Parker giggled.

Tobin couldn't help but tell her stories of when she used to play soccer, she loved the endless questions Parker would ask and how her face would shine when she found out her mom used to play with the greats.

_-Flashback-_

_"I can't believe you're retiring this early Tobin, you have more potential I know you do, why now?"  Lauren asked,_

_"I know I have more things to come my way but I think It's time to settle down, c'mon Lauren, I've played overseas, I've won Olympic games, world cups, leagues, championships you name it! But Christen is pregnant. We've been trying for so long and after all of this, I just want to be there for our baby."_

_"I don't blame you Tobin, having a kid is the greatest thing that could ever happen, but what about coming back after that?"_

_"Look I know I still can go on even after the baby is born but I think It's really time for me to settle down. There's so much hassle of me moving around that I just can't risk losing touch with Christen and the baby. They're my priority at the moment and that's all that matters to me."_

_"Do whatever you want kid, just remember not to get overly attached, Christen needs to breath after you proposed." Lauren teased._

_Tobin threw her jersey at Lauren and smiled as she was almost done getting changed. She started to pack her bag when suddenly her phone vibrated with a message. There on her screen was a small jersey with the name "Baby P" printed across the back. Her face grew a wide smile and her thoughts were filled with joy waiting for the arrival of their new baby girl. Tobin had everything she wanted, a beautiful wife and a baby coming their way. She wanted to bring up their child under the influence of a fun childhood and a big heart. Their first born was everything to them._

_-Present day-_

"So you really stopped playing because of me?" Parker asked,

"I stopped playing to be there for my family." Tobin replied happily.

After 15 minutes they approached a large house with a clean front garden and an open drive way. Tobin parked her car outside and started approaching the door with Parker alongside her. Before she could knock on the door she was interrupted with Christen unknowingly opening it to Tobin standing in front of her. Tobin noticed how Christen was ready to leave but was caught off guard when Parker barged into the house. 

"Hi mom!" Parker shouted as she ran to the kitchen,

"Oh, uh hi sweetie! How was soccer?" Christen asked as she gave Tobin an unsure face of allowing her into the house,

Tobin smirked as she whispered "beat ya to it" while entering the house. Christen rolled her eyes but had a light smile on her face as she closed the door. She dropped her keys on a table nearby and confronted Tobin.

"Just because you still got her home doesn't mean you weren't late." Christen said as she crossed her arms,

"Yeah well I still managed to pick her up didn't I?" Tobin answered,

"Practice was alright I gu-...." Parker interrupted, "are you guys fighting again?"

"What no... we're just..."

"Yeah uh.. nothin-"

"Okaaayy I'll just go up to my room."

"Parker shoes off!" Christen shouted up the stairs.

Tobin laughed lightly. Tobin and Christen silently looked at each other and gave one another a reassuring smile. Christen was lost in Tobin's eyes whereas Tobin was left speechless, the silent staring made the two quickly come back to the conversation as if nothing happened.

"Yeah.. as I was saying you really need to start picking Parker up earlier Tobin, she has to eat when she comes home, take a shower, do homework, she needs to be ready to go to bed before 10."

"Oh come on Chris, Parker is a kid she needs to enjoy herself while it lasts,"

"No Tobin, Parker is a devoted kid and she won't let anything get left last minute because no one picked her up after soccer, you know that!"

Tobin let out a gasp of air. She scratched her head and calmly let her emotions drain down,

"Yeah, I know that. Look I'm sorry I was caught up in things and I just didn't notice the time."

"Well pretty soon you need to notice the time. Tobin when will you realize that the second you start ignoring the little things in Parker's life she won't have you be there for her anymore. You know what she told me? She told me she missed her mama but she couldn't help it because you only get to see her twice a week and you barely make the most of that two days. Don't you feel sorry for your own daughter Tobin?" Christen mentioned.

Tobin didn't know what to say. She didn't want to argue with Christen because she didn't want to loose her even more. She just had to listen and accept the fact.

"Okay look, hear me out. Next week is Parker's birthday and all I want to do is spend time with her. I'll take her out, maybe do something with her team, just let me do something for her Chris."

"No, oohhh no Tobin. The last time you asked me to let you plan something for Parker, she was bawling her eyes out wanting to go home,"

"Hey it's not my fault that I didn't know Parker was scared of heights!"

"Since when did you not realize your daughter was scared of heights when she saw a zip wire over her head and she said to you 'mama is it safe',"

"I thought she was being cautious!"

"Okay stop, getting out of topic. I just don't know any more Tobin, ever since the divorce you're barely making a commitment to spend time with Parker."

"I'm sorry Chris; I'm doing all I can. I'm trying to find a job, fix my apartment; I'm doing all I can just to be with you two." Tobin said as she approached Christen and wrapped her around her arms. Christen felt weak and allowed herself to relax in Tobin's arms. She closed her eyes and fell in love with her touch and her scent made her feel happy again. Tobin gently lowered her hand on Christens waist and whispered in her ear, "Please I need you, the divorce was over anger you know this."

Christen quickly let go of Tobin and took her hands off her waist. She quickly realized the situation and continued to speak, "I think you should go home now Tobin,"

"I'll go, but please just let me do something for Parker."

"Fine Tobin, one last time. Just this once, but if you mess this up for Parker she's going to doubt you more."

Christen lightly smiled, Tobin thanked her and hugged her one last time but Christen didn't want to let go. They stood there for a minute until a small voice spoke at the top of the stair case.

"Please don't go." Parker asked,

Tobin looked up and gave a hearty smile. She walked up stairs and picked up Parker to wrap her in her arms. 

"I promise I'll never go and leave you, but I have to go to my apartment you know this Parker."

Christen saw the two in front of her and felt her heart ache. She didn't want to have to see this every week when it came to Tobin seeing Parker. She noticed a small tear leave Parker's eye and knew that the two didn't want to let go. Tobin stood up and kissed Parker on the head. She watched as Parker closed her door wishing she could say goodnight like she used to, but Parker was way passed that stage. As she walked down stairs ready to leave Christen stopped her.

"Tobin wait, I haven't been honest with you,"

"Are you okay Chris what's up?" Tobin asked concerned,

"It's about me and Alice... we're getting married."

Tobin didn't know what to say, she witnessed the love of her life telling her she was re-marrying. 

"You're re-marrying?" Tobin didn't know how to act back, "...Well that's great Chris! Why would that be bad, it's been 2 years since the divorce we did it for the sake of each other's happiness. If you're happy then I am."

Christen sighed as she knew Tobin was only saying that to act happy for her,

"Tobin this means I'm moving with Alice to LA."

"...You're going to leave Portland? But what about Parker, you can't do this to me and Parker Christen!"

Christen watched as Tobin was on the verge of a panic attack, she stepped in to consult her and did everything to calm her down.

"Don't do this to me Christen please.."

Christen reached out and embraced Tobin in her arms. She started to sob. Tobin's arms were weightless from the feeling of despair.

"Not this Chris... anything but this..."

Christen pulled Tobin out of her arms still holding her, she looked at Tobin straight in the eyes and spoke,

"Tobin, I'm sorry. But I love Alice."

Tobin felt herself tear apart. Not only she was barely going to see Parker but she lost Christen entirely. She was still in love. Upstairs Christen and Tobin heard a small cry from a familiar voice. They noticed Parker standing at the top of the stair case with her eyes lost in tears. She was uncontrollably crying and the only words she managed to cough up were,

 

"You're leaving me?" 

 

 

 

 


	2. Team bonding

Christen and Tobin was both speechless and overwhelmed by the situation around them. They didn't know if they were going to break down on the spot from Christens announcement or from the sight of seeing their nine year old crying her eyes out. They pulled themselves together to persuade Parker that everything was going to be alright, but a simple explanation wasn't going to work out for her. Before anything else went down Parker ran to her room and shut it hard that was when Christen stopped Tobin from running towards their daughter to explain what was going on.

"Tobin stop, you're going to make this worse on her,"

"Make it worse? Christen are you kidding me, you're getting married and you haven't even told Parker that you three are moving to LA. What about her decision? Do you think this is what she wants?"

"Tobin stop, don't be like th-"

"Don't be like what Christen? A kid's mom whose doing all she can to spend time with her daughter after a divorce that tore the family apart? I gave you everything in order to keep you happy and our child happy, why won't you let me talk to my daughter?"

"Because I know that if you talk to her right now and explain everything, it'll be harder for her to say goodbye."

They both stood there with empty thought. Tobin was thinking of ways to calm down so it wouldn't get any worse but the timing of everything was off.

"Tobin I know Parker loves you, don't think this doesn't hurt me as much as it hurts you two. Our wedding isn't even this year so you'll have time to sort something out before it's too late. You need to start doing more for Parker."

Tobin knew she was right and didn't say anything to fight back; she nodded with agreement and walked out to her car by Christen. They both said goodbye for the night but it felt like it was the last time they were going to talk until next week. Tobin pulled out of the drive way and proceeded to drive back to her apartment. As soon as she reached her place she took her time to walk up to her door only to find someone waiting outside.

"Oh sorry you must be Parker's mom... Tobin right?" the lady asked,

"Yeah I'm Parker's mom, you're Mollie's mom right?"

"Yes I am haha; I didn't know Parker spoke about her teammates parents,"

"What can I say; she's practically best friends with everyone she meets. Sorry for keeping you waiting come in."

Tobin held the door open for her, she still wasn't that familiar with the lady but noticed how she confidently walked into her apartment which was something that caught her eye (the same confidence she would find in Christen).

"Sorry I haven't introduced myself, I'm Liv Clarke."

Tobin gave her a small smile as Liv made herself comfortable in her apartment. She closed the door and offered a drink to her but was politely denied the offer. As Tobin was continuing to do things around the kitchen the conversation continued.   
"So I know your daughter is friends with mine but I need your help Tobin,"

"Sure... they're not fighting are they?" Tobin asked,

"Oh no trust me they're best friends. But I've only just realized that you used to be a soccer player! Sorry it took me a while to notice but sometimes I'm too busy to catch up with the parents. But anyways I was wondering, the girls this season have been doing all they can to win but they're not getting anywhere with that useless coach of theirs. I was maybe thinking you should volunteer to help the girls out?"

Tobin thought for a minute, the plan was quite a big one but her mind started to change into the positives. If Tobin was committed to help Parker and her team out she knew she would gain back the trust in Parker. This was the only way she could show Parker she would be willing to do anything for her. This was for the sake of her team and for the sake of her daughter's dream.

"That sounds pretty good to me... what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just doing it because I know the girls have done all they can this season. Plus seeing you on the field wouldn't be much of a problem for me," Liv slyly added.

Tobin coughed up a laugh and sat down beside Liv. As fifteen minutes passed they talked about team outings and trophies they could arrange. The whole conversation was mainly around soccer but obviously for their daughter's team. Liv looked at the clock and noticed she had to get going. Tobin stood up and followed her to the door where Liv gave a wink and walked off. There was something mysterious about Liv that Tobin recognized but didn't change her feelings one bit off of Christen. She thought about the whole idea and knew it was something that was really worth a shot. If anything this was her last shot. That and obviously Parker's birthday.

 

 

\------------

 

 

A week had gone by and it was finally Tobin's chance to redeem herself in front of Christen. She booked out an area of a local park and made it into the scene of a colorful birthday party. Laid out were banners hanging from tree to tree with picnic benches under it where one was located for the parents and one was for the children. Around the area were activities and obviously in the middle, an open soccer pitch for the kids to run around. It wasn't even 30 minutes after setting up where guests started to arrive. The party was about to take off when suddenly Parker came running across the field to join her mom.

"This is so awesome!" Parker shouted as she jumped into Tobin's arms,

"Happy birthday kiddo! How old are you 15? 16?"

Parker giggled, "Mama I'm 10!"

"Seriously? Sorry you can't be here little kids only."

Parker playfully tugged Tobin's shirt and ran off to join the others, on her way to welcoming the guests Christen came over and said hi to Tobin.

"Wow Tobin you really outdid yourself this time. I'm really proud of you," Christen smiled,

"Thanks Chris I told you I wouldn't let you down, plus I have some news to tell you,"

"What is it?" Just before Tobin could speak out Liv interrupted the conversation,

"Tobin oh my gosh you did an awesome Job!"

Christen was confused at this moment, she knew who Liv was but she never knew that she spoke to Tobin before,

"Oh hey Liv, thanks I was just about to tell Christen the news,"

At this point Christen was beyond confused, was Tobin about to say they were going out?

"You two aren't going out are you?"

"What? No!" Tobin quickly replied,

The three shared an awkward laugh between each other and carried on talking as if Christen never mentioned that,

"Well... you know how you said I should spend more time with Parker? Well I've decided I'm going to be their coach!"

"What seriously? That's awesome Tobin!"

"Haha yeah it was a great idea wasn't it? It was my idea," Liv said openly.

Christen and Liv looked at each other with a 'why do you keep talking face'. Tobin realized the problem and quickly got in between so there would be no drama and told them if they wanted to sit down. The two walked off as if nothing happened and Tobin had a sigh of relief. She called Parker over to talk to her privately. The two sat under a tree where the sun was blocked off their direction, the weather was perfect to be outside but Tobin wanted to sit down and talk to her for a while.  

"I have some news for you,"

"What is it mama?"

"How would you feel if I come and coach your team for now on?"

"Seriously? That's so cool please do it!"

Tobin laughed as Parker gave her a hug. The two held the hug for a few seconds until they let go to lie back onto the tree. Tobin wasn't sure if this was a good idea but she would rather speak of it now.

"...So your mom and Alice are getting married now huh?"

Parker was silent for a second, "Yep, mom said we're moving after she gets married,"

"So you know what that means right Park?"

"I know... I won't see you much,"

Parker kept her head low; she didn't want to show the tears that were falling from her eyes,

"Hey don't cry... please? I promise you bud I will always find a way to see you,"

"...I don't want you to go, Alice is fun but I love you more."

Tobin kept hold of Parker in her arms, "I know that but you need to listen to your mom, you stay with her and not me."

The two sat there in despair, she didn't want Parker to live like this.

"We'll find a way, c'mon you got a party to be in," Tobin said as she looked at her.

Tobin and Parker walked up where everyone else was. For the rest of the day everything that was bothering them was left behind. For a moment Parker felt like they were all a family again when she saw her parents laughing and enjoying themselves. This was what she wanted.

 

 

\------------

 

 

"I can't believe you ate that entire piece!" Christen laughed out,

"Well Parker did say if I ate that massive piece she would stop bugging me for giving her piggy backs." Tobin happily replied.

It was a few hours after the party and everyone was tired. Parker was asleep upstairs while Tobin and Christen were both on swings (then again they had a couple of drinks that had been shared).

"Let's see who can jump the furthest after three,"

"Christen I don't think that's a good idea,"

"1..."

"Chris please," Tobin laughed,

"2..."

"I think you've had too much to drin-

"3!"

Christen leaped forward and so did Tobin reaching out for her. The two were left lying on the grass laughing their heads off as if they were little kids on a sugar high. The laughs eased down and Tobin rolled over to look at Christen. Christen started to calm as she laid her eyes on Tobin's lips.

"When did we stop being young..." she lazily asked,

"When we had a little one tiring us day in and out." she replied.

The two were oblivious of what they were doing as they were distracted from each other's presence. The feeling of being young around one another was what made them fall for each other in the first place. Christen think about why everything went downhill but at this moment, nothing was more important than having her first love right next to her. They gazed up and made straight eye contact. Tobin never felt her heart more warm and filled with love than the last time they were alone together. No hesitation came across when Christen leaned forward and kissed Tobin's lips, it was like they were having their first kiss all over again. They broke off the kiss but kept their foreheads close.

"Remember when we first met?" Christen whispered.

Tobin giggled.

 

_-Flashback-_

 

_"Well the media has been talking about lately and they keep thinking you're dating someone," Lauren said,_

_"They're just making it up Lauren trust me I haven't dated anyone since I've joined the national team, but hey let's forget about this and go sign some fans."_

_They walked back out into the stadium and approached the stands where everyone was over excited. After 10 minutes had passed the stands where close to empty expect with one girl waiting. She wasn't really paying attention but more busy quickly texting someone on her phone. Lauren knew that this girl could possibly be more than just a fan to Tobin. She made an excuse and left the two alone._

_"Last one huh?"_

_The girl looked up, she looked apologetic and put her phone away, Tobin thought she was just there to sign one last shirt but was left more of a treat._

_"Hey... yeah haha sorry, my sister was texting me. She couldn't come to the game today but instead made me go just so she could get a signed jersey from you," the girl replied back._

_Tobin was caught staring into her eyes; she didn't expect someone so sweet to be standing in front of her. She quickly got back to her senses and carried on talking._

_"You're a bit old to be surrounded by teenagers aren't you?" she joked,_

_"Yeah I am but hey, you're 24 aren't you? I'm just a year younger than you by a few months off," she smiled,_

_"You seem like a big fan of mine," Tobin chuckled,_

_"Might be more than a fan." Christen flirted._

_The two stood there smiling like idiots._

 

_-Present day-_

 

"Ew you were cheesy," Tobin jokingly replied,

"You loved it though." 

The two stood up and helped each other to enter the house. They both crept upstairs and opened the door to where Parker's room was. It didn't take long for Tobin to creep her arm around Christens waist as they stood there looking at Parker. That was of course, until the front door opened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be posting again after I come back from training


	3. Over here

Christen was startled by the door opening downstairs, she grabbed Tobin's hands and took them off her waist as she heard footsteps walking up the stairs. She turned around and was greeted by a warming smile.

"Hey Christen... and Tobin. Didn't know you'd be here at this time." Alice kindly greeted.

Tobin gave a quick wave at Alice and tried her best to hide her embarrassment. She wasn't really embarrassed over the fact Alice came home but was a little bit freaked out when she thought she had Christen all to herself that night.

"Yeah sorry about that, just checking up on Parker one last time before I go,"

"Nah don't be sorry, after all you did throw Parker's party." Alice smiled.

She quickly went over to Christen and kissed her on the cheek before heading to their bedroom. Tobin was looking at the floor when it happened and Christen knew that if she continued to be there, things would take the wrong turn.

"Tobin... thank you so much for today I really mean it. You'll be able to be with Parker tomorrow for her soccer but I think it's getting late now."

Tobin looked up and nodded; she gave one last hug to Christen and headed towards the door. As she was outside she entered her car and got a text message from Christen saying-

_I'm really sorry I kissed you. I don't want you to have the wrong intentions from me. Thank you for making this day amazing, we love you._

Tobin's heart sank, she thought that Christen was feeling something again but it was nothing more than a small feeling. Before she even turned on the engine she got one last text from her with the words-

_Seat belt._

She glanced down at herself and noticed she didn't have her belt on. Even after leaving the house Christen still knew the small things Tobin would forget to do. Tobin smiled at the sweet reminder; she pulled away from the house and drove away.

"You okay Chris?" Alice asked,

"Yeah I'm just lost in my thoughts at the moment,"

"Try to relax you have some wedding planning to do." Alice hugged her from behind. Christen smiled but it wasn't shown that it was a fake one to make Alice feel like she was happy. Maybe this wasn't the right choice but it was the choice she said yes to.

 

\---------

 

"Parker lets go you'll be late!" Christen screamed from the car.

As Christen rolled the window completely down she saw Parker leaving the house wearing her favorite jersey. None other than a 'Heath 17' jersey which Parker only wore on special occasions.  

"You look geared up today," Christen chuckled,

"Duh! mama is coaching us today, I've seen her play before, she taught me how to do a rainbow flick!"

"Really? That's something I'd never do haha."

Parker continued to ramble on about the tricks she learned off of her mom. Before she could continue talking Christen asked her a question, 

"So what do you want to be when you're older Parker?"

"I want to be like mama and play soccer! She told me she knows exactly how she can help me to get there, it's awesome!"

Christens heart warmed when she heard her 10 year old talking about her ambition. Whenever someone mentioned soccer there was nothing else that would interest her. It was almost as if Parker was Tobin when spotting a single soccer ball lying around (that's all she cared about). After 15 minutes the two reached the park and instantly Parker ran to the rest of her team. At the same time Tobin was on the other side of the car park with a bag full of soccer balls and a set of cones placed on her head. Christen didn't want to help Tobin as she was too amused by the goofiness that came from one person, what did capture her attention was Liv quickly running over to help give Tobin a helping hand, she felt as if Liv was being too close to Tobin despite the fact Liv was already married. Christen ignored the two and walked over to the rest of the parents sitting by. At the same time Liv sat beside her and started a simple conversation to be friendly. 

Over to where the side-lines were Tobin was concentrating on the lack of effort coming from the coach.

"C'mon girls you need to kick the ball."

That wasn't helpful at all. Just a simple instruction with no information on what technique to use. Tobin cringed at the site and decided to finally step in.

"Thanks Jack I think I'll take it from here."

She smiled straight at him and he didn't hesitate to allow her to start coaching.

"Hey everyone I'm Tobin, I'm Parker's mom. I'm going to be your new coach!"

The girls were in awe. They weren't the only ones who knew Tobin used to be a world class player but they were more in shock that they had her as their coach.

"No way! This is awesome," one of the girls said,

"Can you teach us how to shoot?" a small voice spoke,

"What like this?" Tobin ran up to ball and kicked it perfectly with enough spin to hit the top corner of the goal. The girls started cheering and jumping in amazement of what just happened. One by one the girls gathered around Tobin showing them where to hit a ball for the perfect strike. What she didn't notice was her daughter staring right at her with a huge smile right across her face.

"Christen, look at Parker." One of the parents spoke.

She noticed how Parker was paying attention more to Tobin than actually looking at the drill. She saw how happy she looked but was struck with a reminder this was going to be taken away from her in a years' time.

"So Christen how's Alice?" Liv asked,

"She's fine... we're fine," Christen replied as she had her eyes on the pitch,

"So after you move to LA how are you going to get Parker to see Tobin?"

Christen was a little suspicious of why Liv was asking such personal questions, she looked down and then up again but making eye contact with Liv. She didn't say anything but just smiled. As the session continued to progress Tobin was focusing on each child's abilities. After a few minutes passed Tobin would gradually look over at Christen and smile but was also given a small wave from Liv. She didn't realize Parker scoring a perfect strike until she heard a couple of shocks from the team, Parker looked over and smiled but it had faded away when she noticed Tobin wasn't paying attention. She looked over and saw her mom looking at her friend's mom but with a sudden turn Tobin looked up and started clapping as if she saw what had happened. 

After another 10 minutes everyone had started a game to end the session. For once the girls felt like champions from the way Tobin was encouraging all of them. Just a few minutes into the game a corner took place. With one soft cross Parker finished the cross into the back of the net. She turned to see if her mom was watching but realized she wasn't looking because Alice had just arrived to the session. Tobin once again looked across and started to applause and praise Parker.

"Go on Parker great job!"

"You weren't even looking!" Parker screamed angrily.

The game continued but Tobin felt guilty. As the last few minutes of the session lasted Tobin saw Parker getting unnecessarily aggressive. She called Parker over and told her to fix her attitude as that wasn't the right way to play. Parker had enough of it all and started to scream.

"Shut up! You never pay attention, even when I do something right you never see it. You only see the bad things in me!"

Tobin was shocked, "Parker don't scream at me like that, what are you on about?"

"Stop it, I hate you!" Parker cried and ran towards Christens direction. Tobin stood there without saying anything and the game had ended. Everyone thanked each other for the fun session but quickly fled the scene between Parker and Tobin. Alice insisted to bring Parker home so that Christen could talk to Tobin.

"She hates me..."

"Tobin don't say that, she loves you. She's just a little kid she'll get over what happened,"

"But you saw the way she screamed at me Christen, she was really upset,"

"She was upset because you weren't paying attention Tobin. I told you, you need to focus on her more."

Christen was right, it wasn't the lack of effort of bringing Parker to training; it was the lack of time spent to be with her daughter.

"Chris I'm sorry."

Christen sighed, "Stop being sorry, this isn't your fault."

The two looked at each other and gave a small smile. Tobin insisted to follow Christen home in her car so that she could talk to Parker.

As the two approached the house they calmly entered the building. It was quiet but Christen knew Parker was still a little heart broken. Tobin walked up the stairs and knocked on the door gently. Before she knocked again she noticed the door was slightly open, she entered the room and called out for Parker.

"Parker?"

Silence was all she heard. She quickly looked around the room and saw nothing else but the window opened, then Christen came in,

"What's happened?"

"...Parker's not here." 

"What the hell do you mean Parker's not here?"

"I don't..." Tobin was left speechless,

"No this can't happen I saw her go to her room," Alice pleaded from behind,

"No this isn't your fault please don't blame yourself," Christen insured.

They were all lost, did Parker run away?

"Tobin this can't happen. Not like this, it can't be like last time. Last time we lost her, we can't lose Parker as well."

"You lost someone else?" Alice asked,

"Not right now Alice, I'm sorry but I'll tell you another day." Tobin rushed out of the bedroom and ran down stairs. She noticed that Parker's training bag was still in the kitchen but she saw her school bag was missing. She thought of where she could possibly be but it was definitely not back at the park. That was when she realized where Parker went. She exclaimed to Christen where she was heading and rushed with no insight of what she was actually going to do. Tobin jumped in the car but before she left Christen came running up to the car window.

"Please be careful Tobin,"

"I will I promise,"

"Please just remember, your  _seat belt."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you seeing the pattern within chapters?  
> Seat belt.....   
> What could that mean?? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯   
> Looks like there's a story within a story in a story!  
> Keep up folks


	4. No more lies

Tobin's mind was all over the place, she felt as if Parker would run off to her apartment just so she could be alone but, with her instinct, the child was more complicated than she thought. She quickly stopped by her place to be sure Parker was either there or somewhere else; it turned out that apartment was left untouched with no sign of Parker anywhere. Tobin placed her hands on her head and took a deep breath in, she was thinking of different solutions where her child would be but none of her thoughts made sense. She suddenly received an unsuspecting message which scared her a little.

_Parker turned up at my house and asked if she could see Mollie. Is everything alright I didn't get a text from Christen saying she was coming - Liv_

A big breath escaped Tobin's mouth; her first thought was to call Christen before she would leave to go to Liv's house.

"Hello? Tobin did you find her?" Christen asked in a panic,

"Yeah I have, Liv texted me, she's there with them I'm going to pick her up right now,"

"Oh my gosh thank goodness, I'm freaking out Tobin. Please talk to her I don't want her to be upset,"

"I will Chris."

Tobin hanged up the phone and made her way down a heap of stairs. On the way to Liv's house Tobin was rehearsing what to say to Parker, either to straighten the child out from her behavior or give in to her daughter (as she would always do). By the time she reached the house she parked outside a grey brick suburban home, Tobin was surprised on how big the house was considering Liv only had one daughter; then again Christens house was massive as well. She walked towards two wooden doors and knocked loud enough for someone to hear. As the door opened she was surprised that she was greeted by Mollie.

"Oh Hi Mollie, can I come in?"

"I don't think Parker would be too happy," she innocently said.

Tobin laughed lightly and stepped in as Mollie stepped aside,

"You can go to her, she's in my room upstairs," Mollie shyly insisted.

Tobin thanked her and told her to tell her mom she was there. Of course Liv was already expecting Tobin but it would have been awkward if Liv came in the middle of Tobin and Parker talking. She slowly started walking upstairs and stopped just outside of Mollie's bedroom, Tobin did all she can to calm down but was worried if Parker was still mad at her.

"...Parker?"

Tobin entered the room and noticed Parker on the bed watching a soccer match on the TV, she didn't say anything as she was too busy watching the game. Tobin headed towards the bed and sat next to Parker, still Parker hadn't flinched.

"Parker what happened out there..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Parker turned off the TV and shoved her face into a pillow. Tobin reached over and started rubbing Parker's back; she felt the little one relax after being so stressed out.

"Parker I need you to understand that just because I don't pay as much attention as I did before doesn't mean I love you,"

Parker felt guilty, she knew her mom was blaming herself, "No mama it's not your fault," she said as she sat up properly, "I just get sad because I want you to be with me and mom every day. I miss you having around."

Tobin knew this was hurting Parker as much as it was hurting Christen convincing her child they're moving to LA.

"I know it's tough for you, I'm really sorry but your mom and I were fighting too much Parker, we couldn't be like that around you,"

"I'd rather have you two fighting together than you living somewhere else."

Parker started to tear up but Tobin leaned over to hold her. She wasn't sure if there was going to be more of these conversations before it was too late, they may have a year to sort all of this out but they both knew that wouldn't be long enough for both of them.

"I'm sorry I said I hated you, I was just mad."

"Don't worry Parker I wasn't paying attention back then." She kissed Parker on the top of her head and was finally glad everything was sorted. They both talked for a few minutes and decided it was time to go back home, Tobin lead Parker to the front door before she was stopped by Liv.

"Hey Tobin, is everything okay?"

"Hey Liv, yeah everything's fine. Um Parker just wait in the car give me a few minutes," Parker nodded and skipped off,

"I just wanted to say thanks for telling me Parker was here,"

"No problem, she looked really lost when she knocked on my door. Are you and Christen okay?"

Tobin was confused, she didn't really expect Christen to be brought into the conversation,

"Uh yeah we're fine... why?"

"Well just asking, she is getting married soon and you're single. What can I say you are a lovely person to be around." 

Tobin didn't know if Liv was being friendly or slightly nosy,

"Thank I guess? But aren't you married?"

"Things aren't the best with me and David at the moment I'd rather have someone who cares for their kid and partner," she said as she placed a hand on Tobin's waist.

Inside the car Parker noticed Liv placing a hand on Tobin, she quickly saw them but refused to carry on looking before anything else happened.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tobin exclaimed grabbing Liv's hands off her waist,

"Oh c'mon Tobin, what game are you trying to play? Christens already with someone else isn't she?"

Tobin was disgusted, she didn't even think of what she was going to say next but clearly spoke,

"I don't care if Christen is with someone else, whether she moves to LA or not, I'm not going to stop fighting for her." 

And with that Liv smiled devilishly as Tobin walked away, she entered her car and proceeded to drive. Parker sat next to her without saying anything but Tobin thought she was just cooling down from everything; the entire car ride was silent.

 

\---------

 

"Mom!" Parker said happily. She ran into Christens arms as they got home and Christen happily held her.

"Parker of my gosh I don't know if I should be mad or happy. Are you hurt? Why the hell did you run away? Oh I'm just glad you're home again!"

Tobin closed the door and allowed the two have their moment before Parker saw Tobin waiting. She hugged Tobin before running upstairs so Christen could talk to Tobin again.

"Can we sit on the couch and talk?" Christen asked,

"Sure no problem." She followed Christen into the lounge and sat beside her with just enough distance between each other,

"So what did she say?"

"She told me she was just sad because she misses having us three together,"

Christen felt guilty, "I don't know what to do anymore Tobin, shes been like this for weeks now." Christen said as she rested her head on Tobin's shoulder. Tobin did nothing but allowed it. They both just stared into the distance and made the most of their time together (as Alice was out working). This was the first time after a while where they were both drifting into a peaceful sleep.

 

_-Flashback-_

 

_Tobin closed the bedroom door of Parker's room as gently as she possibly could. It took her exactly 37 minutes to put Parker into her bed as the little one was full of energy throughout the day. You know what they say about terrible two's right?_

_"Is she sleeping?" Christen asked as she sat back on the back board of their bed._

_Tobin walked over with a grin on her face and quickly jumped in bed as well as grabbing Christen in her arms. She started kissing Christen uncontrollably in a playful way as Christen laughed while grabbing her face,_

_"Calm down Tobin," Christen chuckled,_

_"I love youuuu,"_

_"I love you too Tobin but you need to take it easy before we wake Parker up again," she laughed leaving a kiss on Tobin's cheek._

_Christen held onto Tobin as Tobin was motionless, Christen knew Tobin was about to do something stupid (then again they're young and very in love). Christen wasn't surprised when Tobin started to tug on Christens shirt giving her hints to take it off but Christen playfully smacked Tobin's shoulder, all of a sudden they heard a giggle coming from the other room._

_"I told you she was going to wake up," Christen pointed out,_

_"Probably because she knew a mean person hit her mom on the shoulder,"_

_Christen threw a pillow at Tobin and stood up,_

_"No Chris I can go to Parker," Christen sat back down and smiled as Tobin stood up, she grabbed Tobin's hand and kissed it before she walked off._

_Christen sat there and waited for the drama that was going to happen next door,_

_"No Parker, sweetie don't throw that at momm-"_

_Christen heard Parker laugh with joy, the two were trouble but she loved them like crazy._

 

_-Present day-_

 

The sun started shining through the curtains directly on Christens face. She woke up next to Tobin on the couch and admired the site in front of her. She looked over the couch and noticed Alice standing there and jumped up in fright.

"Alice you're, uh,"

"Home early?"

"Yeah..."

Alice looked at Christen and glanced at Tobin on the couch, she wasn't mad or disappointed but more surprised.

"So I'm guessing Tobin stayed over?"

"Yeah she did, before you say anything else, please understand nothing happened; we just fell asleep on the couch,"

"Next to each other?"

"Yeah we did, please Alice we didn't do anything."

Alice just nodded and gave a light smile, she walked away but not in a rude way, Christen knew she had to get Tobin out the house.

"Tobin wake up,"

"...Huh?"

"Tobin I'm sorry but you have to go,"

"Already? I can leave later," she said as she grabbed Christens hand,

Christen quickly pulled away "You need to go now,"

"Chris what happened? I thought you were happy with me here?"

"I am but Alice is home now,"

Tobin felt upset, "So the last few days where you've been spending time with me is only important to you until Alice is around?"

Christen was shocked, she didn't know Tobin would be like this,

"Don't make me feel like the bad guy here Tobin; you know it's nothing like that. I'm engaged, why the hell are you doing these things with me then?"

"Are you serious Chris? Its been 2 years but I know damn well for sure you don't love Alice as much as you love me,"

Christen started to stutter, she wasn't having this from Tobin.

"Tobin get out."

Tobin was speechless, she grabbed her things and left the door without even saying bye. Christen heard the car start outside as she stood there in the living room, she closed her eyes and took breaths in.

"You know I'm not angry right?" Alice came in saying,

"...I'm really sorry I just don't know what's happening anymore I-"

"Hey... Chris don't stress out. I love you you're only worrying about this for the sake of Parker,

"I know I am but I don't want Tobin to loose Parker as well,"

"I'm not bothered if you meet with Tobin, not everyone can leave things behind,"

"I'm not talking about her loosing me Alice," Christen said under her breath,

"Who are you talking about Chris?"

"Me and Tobin already lost someone else,"

Alice looked confused and waited for Christen to finish off her sentence,

 

 

"...Parker isn't our first child, she's our second."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did they have a daughter before Parker?  
> But what happened?  
> Ahhhhhh


	5. What we were like

"Hey Tobin... I just wanted to leave this message to say sorry for the way I was to you when Alice came home. I spoke to her and she said she's willing to spend time with Parker for the day; can we use the time to talk about everything? Hope I wasn't too harsh on you. Reply if you get my message okay? Love you"

Christen ended the voicemail and hoped Tobin would result to wanting to talk. She knew that she couldn't stay mad at Tobin forever so it was better to talk everything out; she placed her phone down and waited for a reply as she leaned on the counter. Parker approached Christen quietly and wrapped her arms around her mom.

"Are you okay mom?" Parker asked patiently,

Christen took a few seconds to think and answered her,

"I'm fine sweetie," she crouched down to Parker's height and spoke to her directly, "Today you'll go out with Alice and you two can do whatever you want okay? Mama and I are going to sort things out between each other, I promise we're not going to fight and no one is going to get upset okay?"

Parker looked at her and smiled, she didn't mind if she had to go off with someone else for the day, just as long as her parents took the time to talk properly once again. She then turned around and noticed Alice leaning on the door frame, she left her mom's presence to jump in Alice's arms. Alice had no problem in picking the child up as the two looked happy together, she noticed how Parker was as happy with Alice as with Tobin but knew the two were completely different to Parker's likes. Alice gave Christen a loving and reassuring look to show that everything was going to be okay; she walked off as Christen gave the same look back but lacked the same smile that showed happiness. All she had to do now was wait for Tobin's response. 

After 5 minutes Christen sat in silence as she waited until her phone buzzed.

_Let's just talk about everything okay? My house is free I'll see you in a bit - Tobin_

Christen was more than happy to drive to Tobin's house. She grabbed her coat and keys then took off, with no time she parked outside Tobin's place and started walking up to her apartment. With two knocks Tobin greeted Christen into her house and awkwardness started to fill the room.

"I just want to say I'm really sorry for what happened; I panicked when I saw Alice and I didn't think straight,"

Tobin felt how uncomfortable Christen was, then again it wasn't Christens fault that Tobin did stay for the night, it wasn't any one's fault.

"It's okay Chris I don't blame you. We had a long day and we just fell asleep together, there's no harm in that,"

"I suppose so."

Christen and Tobin sat down on the couch together. At this point they didn't care what they were doing; at times like these the two couldn't help but unknowingly love each other. 

"I finally told Alice..."

"Told her what? Is it about-"

Christen gave a sorry look, "Tobin I think it was time for her to know,"

"Maybe it is Chris but I'm still not over it,"

"I know you aren't but it's not like I'm over it either."

Christen and Tobin started tearing up silently. Parker was their daughter and their world. Because of Parker their lives changed but it was nothing like the first time. The thing is, Parker isn't their first daughter, Parker supposedly was the youngest.

 

_-Flash back-_

 

_Christen waited as she was expecting Tobin to come home from an Olympic win. Her house was packed with family and friends waiting to surprise Tobin but Christen was too busy keeping her daughter still from her excitement._

_"You excited Peyton?"_

_"Yeah!" Peyton shouted._

_Christen laughed at her 5 year old, she loved how Peyton was a spitting image of Tobin. She was full of energy and loved to run around everywhere (especially with a soccer ball). They knew their daughter was going to be a handful so placing her in every single sport they could possibly think of was a way to ease the little ones energy. Every single moment was dedicated to Peyton, whether it was bringing her to all of her games or bringing her to the park for someone family time._

_"When's mommy coming?" Peyton asked impatiently,_

_"She's almost home now, did you miss her?"_

_Peyton did nothing but laugh and reached out to be picked up._ _While in her arms Peyton had her eyes locked on the door as Christen spoke to the guests, Peyton was still until she saw the door unlock. She wiggled out of Christens embrace and ran to open the door; there Tobin looked directly at Peyton and picked her up in happiness._

_"Mommy!!"_

_"Peyton! My little girl I missed you so much. Guess what mommy brought home?"_

_Tobin pulled out a gold Olympic medal from her pocket, she wrapped it around Peyton's neck for her to wear and the little girl was astonished. She quickly ran outside to show off what she was wearing where she received praise from everyone around her._

_"Look what mommy got me!"_

_Christen laughed as she heard her daughter shout with pride. She looked over and saw Tobin approaching her with a goofy smile; Tobin brought her hands to Christens face and pulled her in for a deep kiss._

_"How's my baby doing?"_

_"Me or the one inside me?" Christen teased._

_Tobin laughed as she placed her hands on Christens baby bump; she wasn't just from a high off her Olympic win, but also from the thoughts of having two beautiful kids' in her family._

_"Hey I got Peyton a gift because_ _I missed her so much,"_

_"You got her a gift and not me?"_

_"Trust me you'll get yours when everyone is gone," Tobin smirked,_

_Christen chuckled, "So what did you get her?"_

_"I got her first skateboard; she's going to love it!"_

_Christen wasn't surprised that Tobin got Peyton a skateboard, it was almost as if she was bringing up her own mini self (which she practically was)._

_"I'll see you in a minute okay? I want to take Peyton out for no longer than half an hour so she can get used to it,"_

_"Okay you go get her champ." Christen said as she kissed Tobin._

_Tobin walked to the back of the house and was congratulated by close loved ones; she took her time to talk with every person she saw until Peyton came up to her._

_"Hi mommy!"_

_"Hey sweetie, guess what I have a little gift for you!"_

_"I wanna see it!" Peyton jumped up a_ _nd down._

_Tobin picked her up and flung Peyton over her shoulder, the little one couldn't help but scream in silliness. By the time they reached outside Tobin placed Peyton down in front of the back of the car._

_"You got me a car?" Peyton asked curiously,_

_Tobin couldn't hold her laughter in when Peyton asked the question, she shook her head in disagreement and opened the back of her car to reveal a board and skating equipment._

_"A skateboard that's so awesome!" Peyton grabbed the things and started to put them on as if it was Christmas for her; she hopped on the skateboard and held onto Tobin's hands,_

_"Mommy I'm doing it look!"_

_"Awesome job Pey, want to try it on your own?"_

_"Yeah!!"_

_Tobin carefully let go from Peyton's grasp and allowed her daughter to skate on her own, Peyton didn't do much as the road was already a small slope but Tobin stood by her side the entire time. Peyton looked up at Tobin and insisted her mom to stop following, she wanted to show that it was okay skating on her own but Tobin had her small doubts. Tobin was on the watch as Peyton rolled forward a few meters with the encouragement from her mom when all of a sudden Peyton lost balance. Tobin's instinct kicked in when she saw the child fall sideways hitting her head on a rock, she was in shock when she noticed her helmet was not hooked in and ran straight towards her unconscious daughter._

_"Peyton? PEYTON??" Tobin cried out._

 

_She ran inside the house screaming for Christen. In front of her Christen saw a heart_ _breaking site, Tobin holding Peyton in her arms covered in blood with her face red with regret, anger and sadness. Christen quickly reached for her phone but Tobin was not going to waste a minute, instead she rushed to her car to drive Peyton to the hospital herself. With no time to spare Tobin left the neighborhood with Peyton lying at the back of the car. She was a few minutes off from the entrance of the hospital when she noticed Peyton waking up. Tobin glanced behind her and gasped in_ _awe as she saw Peyton fluttering her eyes in confusion whereas her face was s_ _till showing_ _pain. Tobin then looked_ _straight ahead when she realized she ran a red light. A gust of sound started to fill her ears when an_ _emergency vehicle impacted the side of her car. Her first thought was to quickly reach behind her to hold Peyton but there was no option, one hit smashed the side window into a million pieces as the car skidded across an intersection. Her memory had no recollection in that minute frame but the injuries were serve. Her lack of awareness on the road was affected from the desperation of checking on Peyton, due to the impact Peyton wasn't the only one harmed, Tobin was left with a broken arm and unpleasant scars. She was lucky to be alive even after not having her **seat belt**  on. But Peyton wasn't, she lost Peyton entirely._

 

_\--------_

 

_A few years after the accident_

 

_"Chris, Christen! Where the hell are you going?"_

_"I'm leaving Tobin, I can't stand it anymore," Christen replied as she packed a suit case,_

_"Can't stand what?"_

_"This stupid pity feeling we've been living with!"_

_"Christen when will you realize that we're both struggling here. You can't just blame one person entirely!"_

_"Well what else do I say Tobin?" Christen started breaking down, "I'm sorry that we're here grieving the death of our daughter, and listen to me carefully, I have never EVER blamed you one bit for the loss of Peyton but when will you move on? Do you think this is healthy for us and even Parker? Because you're too scared of moving on you won't_ _e_ _ven spend time with Parker let alone pay any attention to her. What ever happened to loving your child even after losing Peyton? Do you even realize how it hurts me when Parker tells me she doesn't want to waste your time just because you're scared to hurt her? You're hurting her for a different reason and you don't even see it."_

_Tobin stood in silence. Reality had hit her hard and she didn't want to lose anyone else._

_"Then I'll spend more time with her! Fine you're right but it doesn't mean you have to walk out on us like this Christen,"_

_"Tobin I'm not here to walk out from our past, I'm sick and tired from the lack of commitment of holding this family together,"  
_

_"Christen I'll do whatever it takes to make us a family again. Stop all of this please, this is going way out of hand,"  
_

_Christen placed her face in her hands_ _and wept for a few seconds; she looked up and opened her mouth to speak but stuttered before doing so._

_"I... I want_ _a divorce."_

_Tobin's face fell, she quickly went over to Christen trying to hold her hands but Christen kept tugging away._

_"No Chris, baby please don't do this. You don't know what you're doing,"_

_Christen had her face facing away Tobin as she cried. She knew what had to be said and there was nothing else to stop her at that moment,_

_"Tobin... I can't stay with you if all you do is remind me of what we used to be as a family. We've lost everything... I want a divorce."_

 

_\---------_

 

_-Present day-_

 

Christen and Tobin spent most of the day draining out their stresses and sorrows. At times the two would tear up from bad memories and would smile over good ones, there was no doubt the two started drinking a little but they deserved it after fixing all of their problems. Tobin had the TV playing as Christen moved over to sit in between Tobin's legs, she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around each other and relaxed for the remains of their day together. Tobin leaned down and kissed Christens head as she was captured by her scent, Christen was loving every second as few breaths of satisfaction left her mouth. Tobin's hand started to twitch as it grazed Christens but she didn't hesitate to hold Tobin's. She kept a firm grasp on the hand and motioned her thumb in circles on the top of her hand, Tobin adjusted her position so Christens leg would fall in between hers, at this point the two were far more than comfortable. 

Christen turned her body so that her face was in front of Tobin's. Christen stared at her lips as Tobin started moving her hand to place it on her hips, Christen leaned forward but was stopped by Tobin.

"Chris are you sure you want to do thi-"

Christen smashed her lips onto Tobin's, the two had no limitations when it came to being passionate to each other. They loved each other no matter what and that was what mattered. Tobin's hands moved to Christens hair running her fingers through her soft locks, she relaxed and gave herself entirely to Christen.

"Christen, I love you" Tobin exclaimed as she spoke through kisses,

 

 

"I've always loved you." Christen whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I'm inactive I'm back to school tomorrow but I'll do my best to update. If I forget feel free to roast me on Tumblr at Ittakes23 or you can ask any question you like! You don't even have to follow me ha.


	6. Even if I try to move on

Christen was lost for words as Tobin left a trail of kisses on her neck, she grasped on Tobin's back as Christen was losing her sense of control. Tobin knew that she was doing the wrong thing but at that point no one could stop her, she picked Christen up and made their way to the bedroom where Tobin could do more than kiss Christen. She lowered her down onto the bed and easily climbed on top of the other girl, Christen rubbed her fingers on the rim of Tobin's shirt wanting to take it off but Tobin warned her,

"Chris... I love you so much. Please, is this what you really want?"

At first Christen didn't hear Tobin, she was too distracted from the scene that was happening right in front of her but Tobin still caught her attention.

"Christen please stop. I don't want you doing this if you're already engaged to someone else."

Christen lowered her hands and started to sit up, Tobin inched back to give her some space and from that moment Christen realized what she was doing.

"Oh my god what is happening to me," Christen mumbled staring into the distance.

Tobin understood why Christen would be feeling this way, she wasn't the only one confused on who to love. For the past year Tobin tried to move on ever since the divorce but always fell in love with Christen all over again. She sat beside Christen to let her breath but Tobin was feeling hurt on how Christen felt. If Christen was willing to make love to her, how does she know it wasn't just a onetime feeling? 

"Chris I want you to know that I want you to be happy no matter what, but you need to love one person entirely, it's either me or Alice you can't just keep the other one for a spare..." Tobin spoke quietly but lovingly,

Christen looked straight at Tobin and saw a spitting image of Peyton and Parker; she opened her mouth and spoke the truth,

"I love you like family Tobin," 

Tobin started to smile but was interrupted,

"...But I love Alice."

Tobin only adjusted her smile the slightest bit. In a way she wasn't upset because if that's what made Christen happy then she wouldn't change one bit to ruin it for her, but in all honesty, Tobin was heartbroken.  

"Tobin just because I'm marrying Alice doesn't mean I'm going to change the way I love you. From everything that has happened to us I don't want you to feel like it was your fault, nothing has ever been your fault. I know Parker will always love you and that won't change. But for now on I want to keep my head up for Parker and Alice.

Tobin surrendered her heart entirely to Christen but noticed Christens heart belonged to someone else. She didn't want to argue or fight for her; she was too caught up of letting go for the sake of her family. Tobin stood up from the bed and asked to bring Christen home, Christen questioned about leaving in her car until Tobin pointed out if she could walk her home one last time promising to bring her car back tomorrow morning. They both left the apartment and walked the empty streets of the night treasuring the presence of one another. At points of the night Tobin would only subtly graze her finger tips on Christens palm but she would only quickly squeeze her hand for comfort. Already time had gone faster than they both anticipated, Tobin stopped by Christens front door and kissed her one last time as she knew their time wouldn't last forever. She gave her one last hug and left.

"I thought you'd never come home," Alice applied as Christen closed the door,

"Alice? Why are you still awake?"

"I've been waiting for you for most of the evening; you weren't picking your phone up so I stayed up most of the night."

Christen saw Alice under a warm blanket surrounded by groups of pillows, she knew Alice wouldn't worry about her this much but the thought of her worrying most of the evening made Christen understand that Alice cared much more that she underestimated.  

"Sorry, Tobin and I had lots to get off our mind,"

"Are you sure? That kiss she gave you didn't look so friendly..."

Christen sat down beside Alice and reached her hand out to hold hers. She gently held her hand but the grasp didn't last long enough to keep their hands intertwined.

"Am I not the one for you?" Alice asks,

"Please don't say that Alice. You are but letting go of Tobin isn't going to be easy for me,"

"I understand, I just don't want Tobin to feel like I'm stealing you away from her,"

"You're not; Tobin doesn't own me I chose to be with you."

Christen knew she wasn't being honest when she said those words. Something inside her felt like it belonged to Tobin but she was still fighting to tell herself she was Alice's' after saying yes. Maybe Alice was a clutch to her, but Tobin was a lock on her heart.

Christen walked upstairs with Alice following aside, before she went to sleep she stopped by Parker's room and glanced over the sleeping child. She looked at her and kissed her on the head and was haunted with the memories she had with Tobin as a family. There wasn't going to be an easy route from moving on but she knew this is what Tobin wanted for her... at least she thought.

 

\----------

 

The next day Christen woke up feeling empty. The space beside her bed was empty knowing Alice had gone off to work a few hours ago. Christen only had a few errands to complete today, take the dogs for a walk, do some house chores and most importantly bring Parker to training. In no time Christen had completed the first two things just finishing past 1pm. She prepared herself emotionally just before leaving the house so she could send Parker to her session but she knew there would be some sort of awkwardness with having Tobin around her.

She parked her car and walked a few meters behind Parker as she ran off to be with everyone else. In the distance Christen spotted Tobin wearing her casual soccer kit when it came to training, simplistic but a site that made Christen quiver from Tobin's attractiveness.

"Have fun out there sweetie!" Christen shouted at Parker.

Christen approached the group of parents that watched over everyone else and interacted with them as she would usually do every week. Her nerves started to calm down however it would gradually rise whenever she saw Tobin glancing over. While on the pitch Parker noticed how Christen would look somewhat uncomfortable whenever she saw her parents making eye contact, she knew something happened but it wasn't anything good. This was a subject to be brought up in the car after training and Parker waited patiently.

Towards the end Tobin was thanking everyone who attended, the atmosphere was full of fun but this week it slacked the energetic perspective the younger girls would often see from Tobin. Already Tobin was leaving only giving Parker one loving hug, she glanced continuously as she was dragged to the car by Christen expecting her mom to give Tobin a small gesture of goodbye. This was when Parker took her chance to ask curiously of why everything looked awkward.

"Mom why didn't you say goodbye to mama?"

"I didn't need to we already spent time together yesterday remember?"

"Yeah but you always say bye to mama,"

"No need to Parker, we always say goodbye but we always see each other anyway."

Christen had sound blunt when she replied to Parker, this made it clear that something obviously bad happened.

"...Are you and mama okay?"

Christen sighed, "We're fine I promise Parker, sometimes adults have fall outs,"

"You and mama aren't together anymore though, why would you need to fall out?"

Christen was surprised with the amount of logic Parker knew, she didn't really quite know how to react but she tried to make herself sound as positive as possible.

"Parker baby your mama and I are just having a tough time at the moment. I promise it will get better."

They both arrived home and close the car doors behind them, as soon as they stepped inside Christen was confused of how she didn't see Parker running upstairs as she would always do, she turned around and saw Parker looking straight at the ground.

"You and mama are fighting because of me isn't it..."

Christen was completely shocked and ran to embrace Parker in her arms,

"Parker don't you ever say that, we love you so much why do you think we fight because of you?"

"Because sometimes I hear you being angry at mama just because she doesn't spend time with me."

Christens heart sunk, she couldn't handle how hurt she was from leaving Tobin as well as hearing Parker blame herself.

"Parker listen to me," Christen said as she crouched down, "Don't you ever think this is your fault. Just because me and your mama fight does not mean you're the problem of our arguments. We both love you so much and we never want to let you down okay?"

Parker nodded but kept quiet. She was too overwhelmed with the whole situation and walked slowly upstairs. As she heard Parker closing her door Christen slowly sat down and cried her eyes dry. She sulked quietly just so Parker wouldn't hear her but even trying to hold it in was as painful as moving on.

She picked up a picture frame beside her which contained two separate photos which represented her pride and joy. One side where it held Christen and Tobin holding Peyton for the first time and on the other side which had the two with Parker during Tobin's last games. Christen still had not recovered and ended up giving in to one thing she couldn't resist the most. She picked her phone up and dialed the number which she needed the most, although the endless ringing took her straight to voicemail it didn't stop her from leaving one message,

 

 

"Tobin I need you here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it's short! I need to get my revision for my exams sorted and after I finish training tomorrow I will post a longer and more of a heart warming chapter! (Because I just tend to break hearts at the moment ahaha)


	7. Going another way... but onto the golden path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments last chapter were hilarious

Tobin opened her phone and played her recent voicemail. She listened to Christens plead but ignored it, despite she was feeling a small guilt she didn't want to continue listening to her cries. Tobin was used to Christens confused decisions but it had gotten to a point where she was tired of it. All she cared most about was Parkers well being but she couldn't control how her daughter worried more for her parent's relationship more than the actual two.

This time Tobin had to learn to move on herself, she would always result back to Christen asking to be close friends but always came crawling back. She knew that Christen was leading her the wrong way but even Tobin knew she did it as well. Eventually Tobin had to explain to Parker how things would officially be for now on, she had her chances to talk to her after coaching her team but resisted to talk to her properly another time. After a few weeks of backing out Tobin had made the conclusion to talk to her as Parker was sleeping around hers anyway.

"How's you and your mom Parker?" 

"We're good; she's so busy lately because of the wedding,"

"You've been helping out?"

"I've been asking more than helping, mom said I can bring one friend to help me do the flower girl and I might choose Mollie.'

Tobin smiled at the thought of Parker being the flower girl, she didn't really see Parker as a girly girl but the thought was sweet.

"So Parker, I wanted to talk to you how things are going to work for now on,"

Parker turned and looked at her with a questionable expression, "What do you mean?"  

"Well for now on your mom and I are trying to move and put the fights aside us,"

"So you two aren't fighting anymore?" 

"Well yes we aren't fighting but your mom is going to be spending more time with Alice than when I used to come around. It doesn't mean I won't see you but don't think it's your fault okay?"

"So you're doing what mom did? Find someone else?"

"...In a way yes, but it won't change the way how much I love you both. Whatever happens we'll always be a family okay?"

"Okay mama, I'm fine with that."

Tobin wrapped one arm around Parker and gave her a small hug, she knew Parker would understand ever since she was convinced nothing was her fault, everything seemed more relaxed and calm unlike the continuous fights. They were all on a different path on moving on.

 

\--------

 

It had been months after Christen and Tobin settled their decision on moving on. Christen focused on her wedding while Tobin was guiding Parkers team to a season full of glory. 

Today was the day Parker had the opportunity to express who she was. A determined centre forward who wasn't scared for a challenge. For most of the year Tobin trained the girls to be restless and outgoing and this was their time to shine. They successfully won 18 previous games to finally land their league final where all eyes were watching. Tobin knew this game was important; the girls were on their feet to fight for a spot on entering a professional environment and Parker had no doubt that her team was able to do it. The game was coming close to an end and Parker played like it was going to be her last one.

"Chris look at Parker, she plays exactly like Tobin." Alice mentioned.

Christen adjusted her eyes from the middle of the field onto the forward attack, she noticed how Parker kept calm at all times with the ball but still skilled off a player or two. She caught a glimpse of her faint movements and unpredictable runs and loved how she showed Tobin's style of play; it was no surprise she played like her mom considering all she did was look up to her. Christen started to get distracted from Tobin's sideline guidance, she looked at how Tobin encouraged everyone around her and Christen felt a small sense of nostalgia hitting her.

 

_-Flashback-_

 

_"C'mon Chris, show me what you got."_

_Tobin teased on her ability with a soccer ball. Christen loved playing against Tobin whenever she had the chance but she was nothing compared to what she used to be like in college, then again she still had skill. Christen inched towards with the ball putting her Tobin with a cross over dragging the ball to her left and finishing with a clean shot, she looked at Tobin with a sly smile and went to retrieve the ball._

_"That was lucky,"_

_"No it wasn't you're just slower than me," Christen teased,_

_Tobin sarcastically gasped and positioned her body as if she was a defender, "Bring it on then."_

_Christen accepted the challenge and started approaching Tobin with the ball, before she tapped the ball forward her foot managed to tangle in between the lace of Tobin's_ _cleat as she placed her foot down, she leaned and fell to the ground dragging Tobin along with her._

_"Ow! What kind of move was that?" Tobin laughed,_

_"Ughh that really hurt," Christen giggled through the pain,_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah... haha, I'm fine." Christen started to stand up giving Tobin a helping hand, she pulled her up and the two started walking off the pitch, on the way they had a few laughs as they shared a cute conversation._

_"That was a really interesting drill we had out there," Christen chuckled,_

_"Just promise me one thing Chris,"_

_"What is it?"_

_"Let's_ _not teach our kid to play like that out there."_

_Tobin laughed lightheartedly; Christen looked at her and kissed her on the side of the cheek as they walked home. One thing for sure was that they were going to enjoy every single moment together, even if it meant they looked stupid together._

 

_-Present day-_

 

"Mom we won!" Christen was brought back to reality when a big silver trophy was shoved right in her face, she moved the trophy slightly to the side of her face and saw Parker with a ridiculous grin across her face.

"Oh my gosh I'm so proud of you!" Christen gave Parker a hug that only lasted a few seconds as Parker left to celebrate with her team, she looked at the parents around her and noticed how they were all celebrating after the win. She took a step to join the others until a hand stopped her from doing so.

"Hey Chris its been a few weeks how are you?" Tobin asked,

Christen turned directly to Tobin, "Hey Tobin, I'm great thanks."

They both looked at each other in a friendly way, Christen saw Alice giving her a look to insure her that she should talk to Tobin and catch up on things but knew it would only just be a little awkward. Instead she ignored her nerves and talked like nothing was a problem.

"Congratulations for the win by the way Tobin,"

"Thanks but I think the girls are the one who won it," she corrects her,

"Well you as well as the girls, gosh seeing you out there reminded me the earlier years when we met; you wouldn't stop nagging encouragement on the field,"

Tobin cracked a laugh and agreed on the statement,

"So how are you and Alice lately?"

"Yeah we've been fine, the wedding is soon so everything is coming to order now."

Tobin's stomach twisted the smallest bit hearing about Christens wedding; in a way she was really happy for her but had the slightest feeling of jealousy although she managed to overcome it.

"Oh gosh yeah, it's your wedding soon... do you know when you're moving?"

"We're giving it a month after the wedding then we're leaving, before you say anything else please don't panic, I promise you'll be able to make the most of your time with Parker."

Tobin nodded and continued the subject so she wasn't too worried about it, as the conversation came close to an end Tobin had one last thing to mention to Christen.

"So Chris, do you feel like you have room for your wedding?"

"Of course we do, why do you have a friend you want to invite?"

"No, well kind of, she's not really a friend,"

"Who do you want to invite Tobin?"

"Well uh, my girlfriend."

Christen didn't know what to say right after but still replied, "Oh that's fine! Well I have to go now, text me later? Love ya bye!"

Christen stuttered and quickly walked off in a respectful way, she moved and fled the scene as fast as she could only because an awkward feeling fell in her stomach. Tobin watched until Christen reached the site of Alice, Tobin wasn't quite sure of Christens sudden panic but shrugged off and headed towards her daughters soccer group, she had some explaining to do to Christen for her plus one to the wedding.

 

\--------

 

"This day was awesome!" Parker shouted,

"It sure was bud! What did you like most the pizza party or your winning goal?"

"Both!"

Tobin enjoyed Parker's energetic outbursts; she followed her daughter into her apartment as she skipped the entire way to the door.

"I've got a surprise for you when you get inside."

Tobin unlocked the door but everything was left untouched, Parker was confused at first until she headed towards the kitchen where a signed jersey alongside a scrapbook was placed on the kitchen counter. Parker ran in excitement and picked the jersey first, she read the signed jersey and noticed it was specifically written for her but the date was years behind.

"This is awesome! But how come this was ages ago?"

"That was your birthday present from the national team, they gave it to me when you were born and it was yours to keep, I found it in a box as I was making space for your room."

Parker glared at the signatures of famous players that once trained with her mom, the likes of Lauren Holiday, Carli Lloyd and the rest of a world cup winning team had written entirely on the jersey.

"What's in the scrapbook?"

"Why don't you look for yourself?"

Inside was a picture of Parker barely a year old with her mom and the rest of the national team, below the picture a caption was written which read 

_Parker, wherever your life leads you never stop believing to play in the shoes of your mom. We'll be waiting for you - Best of luck USWNT_

Parker smiled as her mind filled with inspiration, she placed her things down and walked over to Tobin giving her the biggest possible hug she could give, Tobin's heart started to melt as she felt like everything was going to turn out okay even when Parker leaves.

"I love you; you're the best mom in the world."

Tobin held Parker tighter and let go as soon as Parker started to back off. She sat down with her and turned on a movie to ease the energy that came from today.

"So what are your thoughts before leaving to LA?"

"I want to be able to spend everyday with you until we leave mama,"

"Well you know you can't stay here everyday but that doesn't mean I won't come over... are you going to miss me?"

"Yeah I will! I just don't know how we're going to spend time together." Parker fell a little silent,

"Hey don't say that, it doesn't have to be like this I promise. I'll call you everyday, video chat with you, do whatever it takes. I know it'll be hard for me to come over but I'll be able to see you during your holidays okay? Now don't be sad you've just won your league, next season we're going to have rivals from professional teams, isn't that what you want?"

Parker nodded and continued to watch the movie, she loved moments like these with her mom, she just didn't know what to do when she had to leave to LA.

"Mom is really curious who your new girlfriend is,"

Tobin snickered, "Is she now?"

"Yeah she told me to ask you but not say she wanted to know," Parker said playfully,

Tobin laughed at Parker's comment, "Don't worry Parker she'll find out soon."

Parker giggled and stood up to reach for the scrapbook, she took the chance to ask for stories of when she first joined soccer, and Tobin had no problem in that.

An hour had passed and Parker was already gone and fast asleep, Tobin carefully placed her hands under Parker to pick her up and put her to bed. She pulled the covers over Parker and turned her light off. She slowly started pulling the door to a shut before Parker whispered,

"Does your girlfriend have a kid? I want to be an only child."

Tobin laughed and signaled a no to her, she shut the door and made her way to her room. Tobin was ready to introduce someone else in her life to her family but first she had to rest and prepare for the next day. This was going to be interesting. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry I didn't update yesterday! I came home from training and as I was typing my laptop decided to overheat which deleted my work so I just went to bed!


End file.
